Thursday, July 31, 2008

Our Greatest Fear

Our Greatest Fear —Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other

people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

—Marianne Williamson

Wednesday, July 30, 2008


The reason why I'm writing all these posts now is because of one major reason, I can't fall asleep. Yes I'm tired, but I drank too many coffee these days, because I've nothing better to do, and I don't like to drink plain water, which doesn't mean I don't like plain girls, in fact maybe plain girls are my cup of tea, I'm not one for surprises, all I want is stability and peace, all I want is someone to be there for me, all I want is a nice fragrant body to smell when things around you get stinky, all I want is a sweet voice to immerse in, when all around you is just pure white noise!

Question, why is white noise called white noise and not dark noise?
Why is dark horse called dark horse and not bright horse?

I am so damn inqusitive but as we always say, there are no silly questions even though we don't think that way...

See, what hypocrites we all are....


Oh, and in the movie, "take the lead", there's this cool guy that likes a fat girl, but because everyone thinks fat is bad,
he doesn't dare to like,
which is so damn bad,
and I'm so damn sad,
and I told my dad,
and he got so darn mad...

Haha, maybe I could make it as a rapper... nah... my thounge is thoo thhick...

In the teenage text book, there's this act cool guy Sean who speaks his s as th... so sissy song sounds like thithy thong.... Haha, do try saying out loud...

Anyway, I was saying, ya, it's so easy to say let's not care what others think, it's what you think that matters but how many of us really are able to do it. I for one can't. I'm a vainpot. Saying and doing are really 2 different things man!

We know, but we do not.
It snows, but it's still hot,
We see, but we hear not,
We touch, but we feel not,
I deny, but I'm a vainpot!

Frequency of resonance

"To follow takes as much strength as to lead."

This was a quote taken from the movie, "take the lead." Now seriously, I don't really know what it means, but somehow, it just makes sense ya know? haha, this movie's about ballroom dancing by the way...

Anyway, the readership of this blog is pathethic, it's just 5 on average per day, duh... shows my popularity huh... But, I've never ever been popular anyway, Hmm... actually maybe I was quite popular with the ladies when I was a kid, but the older I get, the more detestable I got... I wonder why...

And recently, I've been watching the chinese lecture series, Yu Dan talking about the ideals of a very prominent chinese philosopher, "Zhuang Zi".

"Sometimes I wonder whether I'm a man dreaming I'm a butterfly or I'm a butterfly dreaming I'm a man." That was the very famous quote from Zhuang Zi. He's really amazing, his insights are incredible, I seriously am in awe of him.

He talks about the way of life, that the way of life is not something you can think of, for once you think of it, you'll not know what it is. It's like drinking water, once you think of how actually to drink the water, you'll choke or soemthing like that.. Hmm.. kinda of a bad analogy... But ya, somethings just can't be thought of, they are rather instinctive, it's in you, in your heart, so it's not to be thought of...

One of my very own favorite analogies is the resonant frequency one. In this world, every single thing has a resonant frequency, that is the frequency that makes the object tick. Every note sounds that particular way because that is its resonant frequency. Moisten your fingers and twirl it around the edges of a wineglass and you'll hear the glass singing in tune with its natural resonant frequency. So yes, when you are doing the thing you love, that is your natural resonant frequency. You'll forget about yourself, you know, like in sports we have the term "in the zone". It's like you are so focused, so concentrated on that present moment that you take no notice of all the unimportant things aroud you except the thing you are doing, and after that, when you try to recall, you have no idea why you did it or how you did it, you just know you did it and the feeling was so terribly incredible man!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008


Dear Elaine,

I've something to confessed, something I should have done years ago but didn't have the courage to do it till now.

I'm terribly sorry, terribly sorry for all the things I've did, all the words I've said. I never once meant those hurtful words, that suddenly took on a life of their own and just propel right out of my mouth. That's not to say I'm not to blame, I should really have more control over my emotions so as to save my loved ones from hurtful words hurled in the wrath of anger. I hope down deep in the bottom of your heart, you know that I never meant a single one of the words I spoke. You and I were just not meant to be. Yes, I believe in fate and destiny, we should always flow with destiny and not fight hard against it. It's just like a powerful current in the river of life, no matter how strong you are, it's impossible to swim against the current. We have to know our own limits, we have to go with the flow of life and the flow of life apparently orients me to be more homosexually inclined ...

Yours always,

I always had a fetish for reading letters, and the above letter was just a pure figment of my imagination, although I have to say, I'm terribly uncreative, the only twist I could think of was the sexual orientation. I didn't start off knowing what I wanted to write, it's like constructing a story line by line, after one life, then we see what's goes next, sort of like the games we played in orientation camps, where somebody starts off with one line, and the next one make up another one etc..... I digress.

Anyway, letters have such a personal touch, it seems like you're looking through the eyes of the person reading the letter and feeling with him/her at the same time, that is so cool... (Shit, I sound like a teenager myself, with the so cool, so lame slang..., it's high time I grow up.)

The teenage textbook!

I suddenly realise I'm such a narcissist! Why I am single, I've posted this title before, and in just 2 sentences, I've already used 5 'I's already! Everything is about me!

I've just finished an absolutely hilarious book, haha, the teenage textbook. It's written by a local singaporean author, yes, go local people! I've never laughed for so long while reading a book, note, not comic, but book with words words and mostly words! The last time I laughed out loud was when I read Neil humphrey's adventure in Singapore whereby he raised his hands in a primary school and his finger was sliced by the ceiling fan whirling like a hurricane above him. I'm not a good teller of joke and so you'd have to read that article to get a laugh. But ya, back to the teenage textbook, it's humor is slapstick and so lame! Haha, but I like it, it's local, I think we can relate to it better. The D.H Lawrence, the tolstoy, I'm sorry, they're old people, I think we have a generation gap and what's more, we leave in different parts of the world, or earth man.

Here's one of my favorite parts....

One of the characters in the story, Sean was dating this ever so hot girl called Sissy Song on Valentine's day. Sissy Song decided to change her order, so Sean desperate to show that he's the hot shot guy tries to get the attention of the waiter by waving at him. The waiter saw Sean's wave and in return, smiled and waved back politely at Sean wondering who the heck this friendly guy is.

So you see, it's a damn lame book, haha, but then, I just like it. Perhaps it's because we, I mean the book and I have something in common....

Monday, July 28, 2008

Why I am single

As you can see, I'm a very moody, seasonal person for when I do write, I just keep on writing, and when I don't, I will starve myself of writing for days, weeks and months. This, is no good, it gives people a sense of insecurity, and that is the reason, why I am single. Actually, it is only one of the many many thousand reasons or factors why I am single.

Anyway, I read this on the net and found it quite true. Haha, singaporeans are very economical and efficient in their use of language, it just shows how much time is valued here over in singapore, or how expensive our every drop of saliva is.

When you doubt someone,
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Singaporeans: Where got?

When entertaining,
Britons: Please make yourself at home.
Singaporeans: Don't shy leh!

When deciding on the next move,
Britons: So what do you propose we do now that the present plan has failed?
Singaporeans: Then how?!

When someone offers to pay,
Britons: Please kindly put your wallet away, it's on me!
Singaporeans: No need.

When courting women,
Britons: How about you and me get together?
Singaporeans: Ai gia steady mai?

Pyscho TEST!

Women love doing those pyschological questionaire to find out more about themselves, I wonder why! Of course that is a sweeping statement, I mean most ok, and in my opinion, as my young cousin always like to add... "In my opinion... this.... In my opinion... that...." Haha, man, how irritating!

Anyway, I wonder if it would be fun to set up a questionaire of my own, of course, then the 'women' would now doubt the credibility of this test then, because the setter is no pyschologist with a certificate, but I am still a pyschologist for I study human behavior, now now, who doesn't study human behavior? (Even animals study human behavior man!)

Question 1: If you were to find yourself alone, isolated on an island with lots of trees, what would you do?
a) Lay down on the sand and enjoy the sun
b) Lay down on the sand and dream about your favorite dream
c) Run around the island naked enjoying your new found freedom

Question 2: If you had to choose between 3 kind of men, which would you choose?
a) Sunshine boy, tall, dark and handsome
b) The artistic kind, fluid in language and eloquent in speech and mannerism
c) The passionate, beastly kind where instincts rule over logic

Question 3: If you were to meet batman, what would you say to him?
a) Oh gosh, how handsome you are!
b) Thou would like to be thy catwoman.
c) Let your body do the talking.

If most of your answers are A, you are perfectly normal, always conforming to peer and social pressure.
If most of your answers are B, you are my kind, and most likely you are a pieces, however you spell it, you know, the double fish one.
If most of your answers are C, you are one hell of a sexy lady but maybe too wild for me.
If you never try answering, then you are a very logical woman and must be my good friend to have the patience to finish this post, thank you very much.

I don't know how to name this post

You wouldn't believe what I've gone through to write this post. My keyboard is like a little child throwing tantrums at me, I ask it to spell a p and it refuses, I ask it to please write a 0, a 6 for me and it plays dumb! (this doesn't necessarily mean that my password has a 0 or a 6 mind you.) What the hell! And so I had to open my calendar, you know, the pc calendar where it stores all the digit so that I could copy and paste the missing numbers into you know, what it is required before I could post a post! What trouble! And when all is done, miraculously, this child of mine suddenly gets all obedient and obliges to my every single command, MIRACULOUS! I really don't understand children, and keyboard, except that what you want them to do, they don't do and what you don't want them to do, they do. Amazing creatures!

Ok, I think I better post this post before my lap top hiberates! It is getting lazier and lazier, it dozes off like every half an hour! Amazing! As of present, I only have 16 minutes left, but I think as a matter of fact, I only have 6 minutes because time is as Einstein would have it, relative, so 16 minutes to my laptop is like 6 minutes to me! Hey laptop, get back to the real world where real time is running and stop skivving off your work ok! And darn, my english is so bad I don't even know how to spell skivving much less pronounce it.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Ok, it's over, my love affair with physics, with the grand unified theory, the so called theory of everything is over. That's what I always do, I'm unfaithful, fickle-minded as some people say. When I was a kid, I loved mathematics, not really, I just like having puzzles to solve. When I was older, I then fell in love with philosophy, who at this present moment looks like a boring old man to me now, not that all old man are boring. Then, it was literature or so I thought, but the classics also bore the hell outta me, I mean seriously, who can understand shakespeare with his thou, art, thy hell? Why can't he just speak normal? Of course, I'm an ignorant fool but what the heck, I just want something easier to read, you know, just reading for the pleasure of reading. Oh, and I hate descriptive parts in novel, especially right at the start of the book! Come on, just get on with the story, I believe our imaginations would do that part, you know, giving faces to the characters. Is it the curse of the modern era that we want action right from the start till end? I'm never one for the beauty of words anyway, so just tell me a story short, sweet and simple. That's hopefully what I would do when I write a story.

The little prince came upon this planet and he saw a drunkard on it. On his table were many many empty beer bottles and many many filled ones as well. His face was flushed and he simply couldn't stop drinking.

"Why are you drinking?"

"To forget."

"Forget what?"

"Forget that I'm ashamed."

"Ashamed of what?"

"Ashamed of drinking!"

And with that, he carried on drinking...

How very weird grown-ups are, thought the little prince, I hope I never grow up to be like them.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

I haven't been writing for a long long time, been very lazy of late, also have no idea what to write about, actually had a lot of fleeting thoughts, but these thoughts are fleeting thoughts, once you don't write them down, they'll fly off to the ends of the universe and because the universe is sort of a loop, the thoughts will ultimately come back to you just like the loop buses you sit, all it takes is just time.

Recently, I've been reading on this theory that the whole present world as we perceive it is actually a hologram, a hologram is a 2d image that looks 3d due to the inteference of light waves that gives it the 3d effect. It's like the first scene you see in the first stars wars episode where princess leia calls for help....

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Another silly theory

And I guess why the planets move in ellipses is also because of distorted spacetime. I seriously don't understand what spacetime is but because it sounds so cool, I have since subsituted space with space time, haha.

An ellipse is simply a circle when viewed from an inclined angle. When you were a child, you often draw ellipses because of our imperfection in drawing a perfect circle. Therefore, when spacetime is distorted, the planets are actually orbiting in circles but because of their gigantic masses thus distorting spacetime causing the 2D space time to sink in or get warped up, the perfect circle they are orbiting in is perceived as an ellipse from our point of view.

Another question that has been bugging me, why do mass attract mass??? Conservation of energy kind of makes sense, it's like there's no beginning there's no end etc kind of logic, but gravity... ????

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Random questions

When objects move near the speed of light, their mass gets smaller. Perhaps maybe it is the spacetime that gets distorted. If we view our world spacetime as a 2d flat world, then when an object moves extremely fast near the speed of light, this space time gets distorted, warped up and sort of like crumples up, and therefore, when we view it from a 2d plane, it looks smaller. haha, just a thought.

And I was wondering, yes I always wonder, perhaps I have nothing better to do, I was wondering why speed of light is the speed limit of all things in the world???

I was also wondering, they say when you travel as fast as the speed of light, then you will never age, and when you travel faster than the speed of light, you could go back into the past or into the future. Ok, so let's say I travel faster than the speed of light, but which direction will lead me to the past and which to the future???? Where is the direction of time???

Richard Feynmann was quite against a unifying theory for he believes that scientists shouldn't jump to the conclusion that there is such a unifying theory. He says we shouldn't near nature what to do... He believes that there might be the possibility that there might not be a unifying theory after all. And he thinks the nobel and honours don't really matter, what really matters is you have fun and enjoy the pleasure of finding things out. That I really do believe too.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

God plays dice

The great man Einstein once said, "God doesn't play dice."

I must say, I have to disagree with him. Imagine you are the creator of a game, you wouldn't have enough time to create all the characters in the game would you? And so, you write some algorithm whereby the attributes of the characters created are to be random, maybe something like the schrowinger's equation. And I guess pretty much that is how our 'creator' thought too.

So i guess maybe the grand unifying theory simply stops here. For if there really is a grand unifying theory other than this, like a formula like A= CG^11, than there wouldn't be any randomness in life and everyone would turn out to be the same and that would make the game very boring.