“Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I’m not listening.”

Berflegump

My lover and I will be out for a ride. He’ll be driving and say,

“I’m taking Route 295 to the bridge. What do you think?”

And I say, “Berflegump hipple dip.”

He’ll say, “I’m hungry. I’m stopping at that diner.

What do you think?”

And I answer, “Quiddy diddle quank blurp.”

Why am I speaking gibberish?

Because I understand.

He’s one of those new sensitive kind of guys,

Who knows enough to ask me what I think –

But he hasn’t quite evolved to the point where he cares about the answer.

Flash Rosenberg

Homer Simpson once said, “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I’m not listening.”

Though I’m not born a woman, I was born from a woman. And that means to a certain extent I do understand a bit about women. I was in a woman for 9 months before I was heaved out into this pathetic world. So during my 9 month stay inside a woman, I kept hearing the same complaints over and over again, that men don’t listen, and even if they do, they simply don’t care.

But seriously, I think men or women, few of us really listen to what the other person is saying. Sad to say, few of us really care, because sometimes, we are too engrossed in our own tiny world. Now now, I’m not saying it is wrong, again, we are born this way, it is inevitable we see things only from our own perspective.

The true art of listening, is to listen to what is being said, and most importantly, what is not being said.

One of the themes in a very famous but seriously quite boring play, “Waiting for Godot” by Samuel Beckett, also touches upon the theme of listening. Frankly speaking, it touches on a lot of themes, Beckett is a touchy old fella. I once suggested to my Prof that Beckett is homosexual to liven up the class a bit but I was met with vehement disapproval. It set me thinking, hmm… , is my Prof a practitioner of homosexualism as well? But seriously, I have no prejudice against homosexuals. I say there are 3 kinds of gender, men, women and homosexuals. Apparently, the person who genderised us was only interested in tits, so he divided the world into people with tits, and people without. What can we say? This person must be a man.

Let me end off with this from fight club,

Narrator: When people think you're dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just...
Marla Singer: - instead of just waiting for their turn to speak?

Thanks to I., Ive been invited to write on his blog, which is a real honour.

A lot of people in this world have been misled to think that if they cannot do without someone, then that is love. That love is when the other person makes you feel complete. I think we can only love someone else if we love ourselves enough, if we are emotionally strong and independent.

3 relationships past, I still believe in love. Its never a tool to make ourselves feel better, nor a scapegoat, let alone just to kill time! Love is a far bigger word, and a feeling that cannot be described. I think education has destroyed us, we question what love is, we think too much. Love is simple. Its not supposed to be complicated. You will know it when you love someone, and if you really do, it doesnt matter what the definition is.

What is LOVE?

Do you love because you are loved?
Or are you loved because you love?

Do you love someone because you need that someone?
Or do you need that someone because you love that someone?

Yes, love is a damn confusing thing. It makes the simple complex, the beautiful ugly. Some believe it is lust in disguise. Some believe it doesn't exist. So the question is, what is love?

Below is my own definition of love.

Love is

- created for us to find a scapegoat so we can blame the goat for every fucking thing that goes wrong in our messed up lives

- a tool to make us feel better about ourselves. With love, we con ourselves into thinking we are such good people, giving unconditionally in the name of love. But seriously, how many of us give without expecting some form of return or another?

- created to kill time and boredom. Find love and you'll never know the meaning of boredom again. They are mutually exclusive creatures. Trouble, on the other hand, is Love's best pal.

"Love kills Time
and Time kills Love."

My very own quote and I'm very proud of it, Haha.

So for once, Mr Shakespeare is WRONG! To be or not to be, that is NOT the question. What is this thing called love? That is the question.

People, do you think true love exists in this world?

Why I'm Still Single

Some people don't believe I'm single,
Some believe I must have contracted some secret illness or something,
Some believe I'm gay,
Some believe I'm Spidey and they themselves Mary Jane and that I chose not to be with them because I fear for their safety...

And the list goes on and on.

So, I've decided to dispel all these myths once and for all.

No, I'm not Spidey. 'With great powers comes great responsibilites', I so damn wished I were, but I'm not. (I adore Kirsten Dunst but somehow I just can't spell her name)


Why I'm still single.

• Women are known to be the world's most powerful money-reducing agent. I've no money and I don't want to be poorer than poor, I still harbour ambitions to run my own business therefore I simply can't afford women.
• Women are time-sucking vampires. I'm still studying and the workload is hell, and I love to read and watch movies and play soccer and watch soccer so suck any more time from me and I will be drained of my life. For life is made up of time and minutes. Take away my minutes and you take away my life.
• Some women boil at nothing, and freeze without reason. It's amazing how they can survive such rapid expansion and contraction, even the toughest of rocks couldn't stand it.
  

Most Importantly, I haven't met THE ONE AND ONLY ONE.

Perhaps if I did,
I wouldn't care if she reduced all my wealth,
I wouldn't care if she sucked the living life out of me (metaphorically ;p),
I wouldn't care if she boils at nothing or freezes without reason,
For love is without reason.

I guess that explains why we are so unreasonable sometimes,
we are simply being in love.

Infidelity

A reversible change is a transformer transforming. Autobots or Decepticons, they can change from robots to vehicles and vice versa.

An irreversible change is the creation of a life through the lust of 2 beings amidst much shrieking and grunts, or perhaps only the lust of one.

"In general, I think it true that
women fuck to love
and men love to fuck."
~Carrie Fisher

So is infidelity a reversible or irreversible change?

I believe it is irreversible. Things will never ever be the same again. It's comparable to Eve and Adam eating the forbidden fruit, the breach of trust, except one is the original sin whereas infidelity is the pirated sin.

Should one then forgive the sinner?

To err is human. We are not perfect and are bound to make mistakes. I say, forgive. But before you go all angelic and do the forgiving, make the sinner suffer like hell. He deserves to be punished. Guilt him. Make the sinner believe he is really gonna lose you. Make him realize what life is like without you. Let him learn to appreciate you more. After he has learnt his lesson then do you forgive him. But make sure you try to forgive him as much as possible and try not to bring this up everytime you quarrel. It's understandable that it will never be forgotten, but we try, we try to forgive as much as we could, for one day, we ourselves could be the sinners.

However, if it the sinner commits the same crime again, then let him go, he is simply just not worth having.

There is no fire without a spark. A relationship is 2 people fulfilling each other's need. So perhaps one cause of infidelity is needs not being met. The victim could then maybe do some reflecting and ask herself if she is trying her best to meet her partner's needs.

"A woman should understand a man more than she loves him;
a man should love a woman more than he understands her."

Because change is the only constant in this world, we are always changing, our needs are always changing. Therefore we have to keep updating ourselves with our partner's needs similar to the updating of anti virus programs, windows patch etc.... Too often we get lazy in relationships and stop updating, that's when all the viruses come in and the system crashes.

Prevention is better than cure they say, so don't be lazy, keep up with the updates. If you can be bothered to protect your PC, why can’t you do the same for your love?

Why non-players pose as players?

Let's look at it another way, what if the player posers aren't actually posing as players but merely misunderstood by women?

Perhaps women view flirts=players but they aren't exactly identical.

What if the guy is merely flirting just because it's fun? We all have to admit a little flirting is fun. Most people could do with a little extra attention in their lives. It makes your day less dreary, it doesn't have to be about sex. It is a way to take life less seriously. It keeps things light and makes the date seem less like an interview for a suitable reproductive candidate to aid in the passing on of your genes.

One shouldn't even be flirting at all, you might say. But seriously, or not so seriously, what bad would a little flirting do?

If the intention of flirting is merely just for the fun of it, to brighten up each other's day with a little sunshine, then it's definitely healthy so why not?

Perhaps the guy is merely flirting for fun to make his mundane life a little less boring. Or perhaps that is the only way he knows how to interact with girls? Remember the young little disgusting boys who used to pull your hair, make fun of you, tease you? It's not because they dislike or resent you, it's the only way they know to capture your attention.

Ok, let's presume the guys really are acting like players then. Why so?

Players are well-respected by guys, in a way. They are portrayed as having the charm and ability to 'win' beautiful trophies, beautiful girls. Yes, girls are sort of viewed like trophies. The prettier the girl, the more respect the guy wins. Yes yes, most guys are stained with vanity.

Guys act like players because they desire respect, and perhaps underneath the 'playful' mask lies a lack of self-esteem that has to be earned by trying to gain the acknowledgement of others.

Unrequited Love

Sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, they just can't love you back in the same way. It almost seems a law of nature that the one you want never wants you back while the ones who want you are not those who you want.

"Follow love and it will flee,
Flee love and it will follow thee."

We're all part of the big cosmic joke, maybe we are not supposed to be happy. Love forever looms on the horizon, like the rainbow, beautiful to look at but just always out of reach. Is love merely a hallucination conjured up by our thirst for a meaning in life?

If I were the creator, I wouldn't have created such a mutually dependent system. I would've edited the source code of this world so that we will be born complete and all we need are ourselves. We have sex with ourselves, we deliver our own babies, in other words, just a world where every man is an island. (Hmmm... Perhaps I would reconsider the sex part. After all, it is god's gift to us, we should learn to reciprocate sometimes ...)

The Beatles once asked, where do all the lonely people in the world come from?

I say, there are 2 kinds of lonely people. The loneliest and the lonely. The loneliest are those who choose to be with someone who can't love you back the way you love him/her, that is way way ever lonelier than being alone. The lonely people are simply those who are alone. (Fortunately, I belong to the lesser of 2 evils)

“Some people are settling down, some people are settling for second best and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.” Carrie from Sex and The City

'Butterflies' refers to the feeling in your stomach when you are nervous and hopeful all at once. My advice, if you don't want to be relegated to the group of loneliest, never settle for anything less than butterflies. So people, friends, if you are lonely, like me, count your blessings, at least we are not as lonely as the loneliest.

Loneliness is indeed the modern man's disease. (Don't worry, I'm not going to start a GP essay) It is the biggest pain one can ever experienced. Luckily, we have painkillers to get us through – friends, and families.

Sometimes, all we lonely people need to know is that we are not alone in this world.

BEATLES lyrics