Thursday, August 9, 2007

Infidelity

A reversible change is a transformer transforming. Autobots or Decepticons, they can change from robots to vehicles and vice versa.

An irreversible change is the creation of a life through the lust of 2 beings amidst much shrieking and grunts, or perhaps only the lust of one.

"In general, I think it true that
women fuck to love
and men love to fuck."
~Carrie Fisher


So is infidelity a reversible or irreversible change?

I believe it is irreversible. Things will never ever be the same again. It's comparable to Eve and Adam eating the forbidden fruit, the breach of trust, except one is the original sin whereas infidelity is the pirated sin.

Should one then forgive the sinner?

To err is human. We are not perfect and are bound to make mistakes. I say, forgive. But before you go all angelic and do the forgiving, make the sinner suffer like hell. He deserves to be punished. Guilt him. Make the sinner believe he is really gonna lose you. Make him realize what life is like without you. Let him learn to appreciate you more. After he has learnt his lesson then do you forgive him. But make sure you try to forgive him as much as possible and try not to bring this up everytime you quarrel. It's understandable that it will never be forgotten, but we try, we try to forgive as much as we could, for one day, we ourselves could be the sinners.

However, if it the sinner commits the same crime again, then let him go, he is simply just not worth having.

There is no fire without a spark. A relationship is 2 people fulfilling each other's need. So perhaps one cause of infidelity is needs not being met. The victim could then maybe do some reflecting and ask herself if she is trying her best to meet her partner's needs.

"A woman should understand a man more than she loves him;
a man should love a woman more than he understands her."

Because change is the only constant in this world, we are always changing, our needs are always changing. Therefore we have to keep updating ourselves with our partner's needs similar to the updating of anti virus programs, windows patch etc.... Too often we get lazy in relationships and stop updating, that's when all the viruses come in and the system crashes.

Prevention is better than cure they say, so don't be lazy, keep up with the updates. If you can be bothered to protect your PC, why can’t you do the same for your love?

3 comments:

jx said...

haha... how come it gives mi a feeling ur post seems to be copied n paste from somewhere! =P

Sui Generis said...

Haha, seriously I've no idea why you think that way lor! Except for the quotes, all the other words came out from my head. You can try googling phrases or use whatever software to check it out before you try to defame my name.

ah boon said...

Feeling and commitment are two different aspect which is important for two to stay together.

Feeling: the experiencing of affective and emotional states

Commitment: the trait of sincere and steadfast fixity of purpose

When feeling does not exist anymore, the sinner should not seek back to the victim and ask for forgiveness. Coz he/she will know clearly that feeling for the person had gone and he/she cannot commit for a harmonious future.

If it is an act of impulse or temptation, the sinner MUST be certain of this and not using this as an excuse to seek for forgiveness. The sinner should be forgiven and not punished. Coz people will take revenge or take things into heart. So he/she can be forgiven and try to work for a better future rather than plotting on how to keep an eye on each other.

IF feeling and commitment cannot be given by two parties, dun bother to forgive the sinner.