Sunday, August 19, 2007

“Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I’m not listening.”


My lover and I will be out for a ride. He’ll be driving and say,

“I’m taking Route 295 to the bridge. What do you think?”

And I say, “Berflegump hipple dip.”

He’ll say, “I’m hungry. I’m stopping at that diner.

What do you think?”

And I answer, “Quiddy diddle quank blurp.”

Why am I speaking gibberish?

Because I understand.

He’s one of those new sensitive kind of guys,

Who knows enough to ask me what I think –

But he hasn’t quite evolved to the point where he cares about the answer.

Flash Rosenberg

Homer Simpson once said, “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I’m not listening.”

Though I’m not born a woman, I was born from a woman. And that means to a certain extent I do understand a bit about women. I was in a woman for 9 months before I was heaved out into this pathetic world. So during my 9 month stay inside a woman, I kept hearing the same complaints over and over again, that men don’t listen, and even if they do, they simply don’t care.

But seriously, I think men or women, few of us really listen to what the other person is saying. Sad to say, few of us really care, because sometimes, we are too engrossed in our own tiny world. Now now, I’m not saying it is wrong, again, we are born this way, it is inevitable we see things only from our own perspective.

The true art of listening, is to listen to what is being said, and most importantly, what is not being said.

One of the themes in a very famous but seriously quite boring play, “Waiting for Godot” by Samuel Beckett, also touches upon the theme of listening. Frankly speaking, it touches on a lot of themes, Beckett is a touchy old fella. I once suggested to my Prof that Beckett is homosexual to liven up the class a bit but I was met with vehement disapproval. It set me thinking, hmm… , is my Prof a practitioner of homosexualism as well? But seriously, I have no prejudice against homosexuals. I say there are 3 kinds of gender, men, women and homosexuals. Apparently, the person who genderised us was only interested in tits, so he divided the world into people with tits, and people without. What can we say? This person must be a man.

Let me end off with this from fight club,

Narrator: When people think you're dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just...
Marla Singer: - instead of just waiting for their turn to speak?


Kay said...

It is true that we can hardly find pple who truly listen nowadays. Maybe because we haven't been practising all the time what had been given to all of us - ears.

In this age and time of technology, many of us uses SMS and MSN as a way of communicating. I mean, that way, pple tend to place the emphasis on the words they are reading rather than seeing the facial expressions and body languages of the person. Similarly, if the pple ever meet up, they rely more on the words they hear.

I feel that communicating via messages would make most of us mince our words so as to facilitate efficiency (thus the evolution of internet language). We soon lack the ability to verbalize our feelings and become some sort of feelingless robots. How bleak this sounds.

But still, it doesn't make sense. We all know God has given us a mouth but two ears because we should all speak lesser and listen more. But why give us ten fingers?

Sui Generis said...

Some people say I'm weird, but I say you are weirder. Haha, but interesting comment on why we are given 10 fingers.

Kay said...

I am not weird... I am interesting... You are weird... Many pple feedback this to me... If your blog is about understanding men, why are there female authors/contributors? Aren't we suppose to see it from a guy's point of view?

Sui Generis said...

When I started this blog, I thought I would write for the women. But AS TIME GOES BY, I thought it would be nice to hear a female voice as well to speak to the guys...

Kay said...

I just hope the female does speak up...

Sui Generis said...

hey, cut her some slack, ;p

Kay said...


Anonymous said...

"But still, it doesn't make sense. We all know God has given us a mouth but two ears because we should all speak lesser and listen more. But why give us ten fingers"

Coz apparently, many of us are fail to realise action speaks louder than words?

seeking to be understood - mouth

seeking to understand - ears

seeking to show u understand - fingers

just a 'wierd' analogy drawn from my years of experience. Comments pls..

Sui Generis said...

Hmm... Anonymous, pardon my slowness, dun really understand... pls elaborate..