Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Can Men and Women ever be simply friends?

Harry Burns: It is so nice when you can sit with someone and not have to talk.

“When you have nothing to say, say nothing.”

I suffer from STD, yes, small talk disorder. Every time there's silence, I'll feel compelled to utter something, and chances are, something unintelligible will plonk out of my mouth.

If you want a measurement of love, this is a good ruler. If you can sit with your other half and feel at ease without having to talk, then, it just shows that you two are extremely comfortable with each other. Haha, so this love can be friendship as well, for this is when you feel no need to impress each other, where you can just be yourself and not have to put on a mask for once.

Below are some excerpts from the movie When Harry Met Sally which are terribly funny.

Harry Burns: Had my dream again where I'm making love, and the Olympic judges are watching. I'd nailed the compulsories, so this is it, the finals. I got a 9.8 from the Canadians, a perfect 10 from the Americans, and my mother, disguised as an East German judge, gave me a 5.6. Must have been the dismount.

Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.

Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive? Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.

Harry Burns: Would you like to have dinner?... Just friends.
Sally Albright: I thought you didn't believe men and women could be friends.
Harry Burns: When did I say that?
Sally Albright: On the ride to New York.
Harry Burns: No, no, no, I never said that... Yes, that's right, they can't be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can... This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted... That doesn't work either, because what happens then is, the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say "No, no, no it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship," the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends.

[Harry and Sally discussing orgasms]
Sally Albright: Most women at one time or another have faked it.
Harry Burns: Well, they haven't faked it with me.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because I know.
Sally Albright: Oh. Right. That’s right. I forgot. You’re a man.
Harry Burns: What was that supposed to mean?
Sally Albright: Nothing. It’s just that all men are sure it never happened to them and all women at one time or other have done it so you do the math.

And this was followed by one of the funniest scenes in the movie. I don't want to spoil it if you haven't watch it so do catch the movie if you have time.


Anonymous said...

whats e title of the movie??? (:

Sui Generis said...

When Harry met Sally. ;p

Kay said...

How about just getting the sex part out of the way by just doing it right at the beginning? That way, the friendship could have the chance to blossom...

Just like them in Friends, at one point of another, they dated/had sex with each other... Still their friendship is still intact after so long...

How about the "fuck buddy" system in Sex and the City? I think it's a real comfort for those who does/needs it... But still, they are only tv shows... But I feel all shows are in more than one way inspired from real life...

Personally, I think it really works... Of course, for the attached, the 2nd system wouldn't be right...

Anonymous said...

I believe sex is too over-hyped. If that is all men can think about when they are with women, these men really need to explore other areas of life. And if you really treasure this one girl as your friend and you enjoy her company friendship intimacy without crossing the line, why complicate matters and lose this friend and make things awkward for one moment of pleasure?

Friendship can go on forever but once you bring it to another level, some ppl think it's elevating the status of the relationship but in fact i think it's devaluing it, a slight wrong step will wreck the whole relationship. There are just so many more factors to consider in a relationship. And because of your prior friendship, sensitivity levels will be higher. Sometimes, knowing a person too well might not be a good thing. Actually, I think it's never a good thing.

Oh well! To keep it short, I feel that it's perfectly possible for men and women to be just friends. In fact, in many cases, it would be preferable to remain as friends.

Anonymous said...

but the show is not avail in cinema eh?

ah boon said...

It is perfectly alright for opposite sex to be friends and even soughting advise about the problems they are facing with their partners.

I agree that being friends with men, attraction is a factor as I must at least be attracted to his way of thinking or his looks. BUT, all these doesnt mean I wants to have sex with him. It is just being attracted to his character and wanna to know and learn more from him. It is a mutual feeling with the man.

IF there is feelings for him as the frenship grews, I think that is another story as NOT all man I will have feelings for.. :P

Sui Generis said...

yea, it's an old old movie.... i think 1990 ba

Kay said...

I'm not suggesting that you go sleep with every single person that you are friends with... But if the carnal attraction is that much that it distracts you from what you would call a normal platonic friendship? Seriously, just get it over and done with it...

dpx said...

gals and guys are the same..just that the gals hide it longer.