The Perfect Girl

Funny, I never thought about it before, I see no point in doing so. I believe sometimes we do not know what we want till we see the thing we want so I choose not to waste my thoughts on picturing what my dream girl would be like. Also, I believe that there is a finite number of thoughts you can conjure up in your mind and once you used up all these thoughts, the term “brain-dead” comes in, and that’s why some people fall into comas.

Charlotte: I just don't know what I'm supposed to be.
Bob: You'll figure that out. The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.

One of my favourite quotes from one of my favourite movies, Lost in Translation. If you people have been following my blog long enough, I’m sure you all know I’m addicted to movies. Perhaps it’s just my way of escaping reality. Anyway, all that translates to is:

• To be my girl to love, you have to love movies. I strongly believe what kind of movies you watch or choose not to watch says a lot about who you are. And I’ll often quote from some movie out of the blue. Therefore, to keep up with me, you’ll have to watch plenty and plenty of movies.

• You have to be blessed with the ability to laugh at the silliest things, the un-funniest of things because I do not have a good sense of humor but the worst thing about it is, I think I do. Therefore, the ability to laugh at all things is the most important survival tool you’ll need if you want my company. It’ll also fool me into thinking you are smart enough to understand me.

• You have to make me laugh. I have a pretty fat face and they say laughing makes your face slimmer and as some smart Alec said, “Beauty is the promise of happiness”, so make me laugh and you’ll be promising me happiness.

• You cannot be talkative, even if you are, try not to show it. Allow me moments of peace when I need to. There is a time for everything, talk only when it is time to.

• You have to be intellectual, but intellectual enough to know when not to be intellectual. Tough eh? That’s what I call intellectual. Because I do not have the highest self-esteem so if you are too smart, my sense of self will be threatened by you.

• You have to be cute. Hmm… perhaps around 161cm in height. Don’t worry, I’m around 176, so subtract 10 from that and that means girls that are 166 and below all have the privilege to wear high heels when we go on dates.

If you fulfill all the above criteria, please post your email under the comments for this post, I’ll email you my email so you can email me your photo and CV. All the best!

Fear of falling

If you’re in love, just fall in love, why think so much?!

I guess why we think so much is because falling in love means losing control, because falling in love means placing your happiness in another person’s hands, because falling in love means handing your heart out to another person and he/she has this power to crush it or to flower it with love.

And the fear is amplified nowadays because so many of us are just out there playing with this thing called love. Just because one can’t love oneself enough , he/she seeks this lack of love from others, seducing, flirting to make others fall in love with him/her. And so he/she thinks, “If there are so many other people like me, how bad can I be? I must be kinda good right?” And he/she sleeps better at night while his victims toss and turn, unable to get that fucking person outta their minds.

And that is why falling in love is so hard? Because after falling one too many times, we learn how to protect ourselves. We become more afraid of falling, of even trying. We shield ourselves, like a porcupine, keeping others at a distance.

(Talking to the players) Why do we have this need to hurt others so we can make ourselves feel better? That is so god damn selfish of us. The only excuse: I’m sure most of us didn’t do this consciously, it’s like we have this need to be liked and so we go about satisfying this basic need, much like if we’re hungry we eat to appease our hunger.

So people, if you’re hungry, please do not be a heartnivore and go heart-hunting, change your taste, be a vegetarian, find other sources or alternatives to appease this raging hunger in you so as to make the world a better place.

Alone = Incomplete

I used to think in the past that one should be happy, self-sufficient before one can be qualified to fall in love, but what if one is unhappy in the first place? So what? You try making yourself happy? Until one is happy then can one fall in love? But what if, what if you are unable to make yourself happy? Then what? You aren’t supposed to fall in love then?

"I've tried just making myself happy. She's tried making herself happy.
It doesn't work. You need other people to make you happy."

This was taken from the movie, About A Boy, another must watch film.

What if, what if we were programmed, what if it was hard-wired into our mind that the only way to be happy, is to be with others, and that there is no way one can ever be happy being an island. Well, not really...

"Every man is an island. And I stand by that.
But clearly, some men are part of island chains.
Below the surface of the ocean they're actually connected."

(Also from the movie)

And so, the point is, we all have this very basic need to connect and relate to others, we need other people to make us happy. So I take back my words about how one should be happy before one can fall in love.

Anyway, What the heck! If you’re in love, just fall in love, we'll never be completely ready for love anyway.

Do nice guys really finish last?

Imagine you are shopping, you see a big sales signboard ahead, "80% off!". You sprint to the shop with the speed of a cheetah and you find, on the shelves, a bunch of nice guys, piled with dust, screaming out to be taken. You skimmed through them, hoping to find one that would appeal to you. You look through once, you look through twice. Sad to say, you cannot find even a single reason to convince yourself to buy any of them.

Nice guys = Boring guys. I'm sorry but it's true, or so I think from a girl's point of view. But I'm not a woman so fear not nice guys, there is still hope.

But what actually is a nice guy?

Perhaps when girls say a guy is too nice, what they mean is that the guy is too gentlemanly, too chivaralous, too considerate, too ... (every good attritibute that you can list out). Bottomline: Too predictable.

Deep down, I believe we all like to be surprised. We want thrill, we love passion. We want the naked rawness. Being nice, being polite seems only a facade, because deep down within everyone of us boils a larvae of passion.

Therefore, being nice is simply being a hypocrite. Concealing your deep passions just to market yourself more likable, or so you think.

We actually like people just to be themselves. We actually wish to see a glimpse of their dark side. Because only when we see your dark side do we then believe you are normal, or being real to us. When someone is too nice, it also makes us feel bad about ourselves upon comparison and that is one reason why nice guys fail too. Because the whole point of two people getting together is to make each other feel better.

When people are just being themselves, then can we be comfortable with each other. I believe being nice is in fact a form of barrier to deeper human communications, what do you think?

Deadliest Drug in the Universe

Romance movies are nice. They are plot-less but nice. They are hollow but nice. They are not intricate, they are not complex, they are as love is supposed to be, simple, and most of all, they are just nice.

They just make you feel so good. If edible, they'd taste just like chocolate in your mouth, which is ranked as the 2nd most pleasurable thing after sex in the realms of women.

But Beware. They are actually one of the most deadliest forms of drugs in disguise. They lift you up so high when you are consuming them but after the effects of the drugs wear off, you'd be falling down to earth faster than little girls falling in love, which is the only thing faster than the speed of light.

You wake up, you become more disappointed with reality, the pain is even more unbearable, and you become addicted to the romance movies like alcoholics to alcohol, like men to sex. That is why endless romance movies are churned out every year. Because the consumption of these drugs takes away our pain, which is good, and also bad. For it raises your expectation of love, it polarizes you to idealise the perfection of love, the fairy tale happy ending which in turn subconsciously places more burden on your partner's shoulders and they will eventually crumble under the weight of love.

Music n Lyrics, Sex n Soul

Alex Fletcher: Lyrics are important. They're just not as important as melody.
Sophie Fisher: A melody is like seeing someone for the first time. The physical attraction. Sex.
Alex Fletcher: I so get that.
Sophie Fisher: But then, as you get to know the person, that's the lyrics. Their story. Who they are underneath. It's the combination of the 2 that makes it magical.

From the movie Music and Lyrics.

That was so BEAUTIFULLY expressed. I guess I’m a shallow person then, because everytime I listen to a song, I get so immersed in the melody that I hear nothing but the melody. I seriously suspect it's due to my being musically inclined. But, according to Dear Ms Sophie (Drew Barrymore), that is also equivalent to me being attracted to the sex part only, and not bothering about finding out the lyrics, the person underneath, the absolute soul of the song.

I beg to differ. A melody speaks too. Sex speaks too. They use a language other than words, a more powerful one, a more basic one. They speak emotions, they talk feelings. Words are you know, JUST WORDS. They ARE constraints by themselves, constrained by their very own soul and essence, their meaning. Poor creatures they are, trapped in their own souls, literally. Humans are complex. Emotions are complex. Words are simply not enough.

That is why we turn our back on words and head towards music, or even art, to express what we are unable to do so in words.

I guess sometimes the very reason we write, draw or even compose is due to a very basic need to express ourselves. To 'speak', to 'talk', without being interrupted. And the best way to do so -- to 'talk' to someone who listens, ourselves.

"Don't be afraid to talk to yourself. It's the only way you can be sure someone's listening. "

Can Men and Women ever be simply friends?

Harry Burns: It is so nice when you can sit with someone and not have to talk.

“When you have nothing to say, say nothing.”

I suffer from STD, yes, small talk disorder. Every time there's silence, I'll feel compelled to utter something, and chances are, something unintelligible will plonk out of my mouth.

If you want a measurement of love, this is a good ruler. If you can sit with your other half and feel at ease without having to talk, then, it just shows that you two are extremely comfortable with each other. Haha, so this love can be friendship as well, for this is when you feel no need to impress each other, where you can just be yourself and not have to put on a mask for once.

Below are some excerpts from the movie When Harry Met Sally which are terribly funny.

Harry Burns: Had my dream again where I'm making love, and the Olympic judges are watching. I'd nailed the compulsories, so this is it, the finals. I got a 9.8 from the Canadians, a perfect 10 from the Americans, and my mother, disguised as an East German judge, gave me a 5.6. Must have been the dismount.

Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.

Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive? Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.

Harry Burns: Would you like to have dinner?... Just friends.
Sally Albright: I thought you didn't believe men and women could be friends.
Harry Burns: When did I say that?
Sally Albright: On the ride to New York.
Harry Burns: No, no, no, I never said that... Yes, that's right, they can't be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can... This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted... That doesn't work either, because what happens then is, the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say "No, no, no it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship," the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends.

[Harry and Sally discussing orgasms]
Sally Albright: Most women at one time or another have faked it.
Harry Burns: Well, they haven't faked it with me.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because I know.
Sally Albright: Oh. Right. That’s right. I forgot. You’re a man.
Harry Burns: What was that supposed to mean?
Sally Albright: Nothing. It’s just that all men are sure it never happened to them and all women at one time or other have done it so you do the math.

And this was followed by one of the funniest scenes in the movie. I don't want to spoil it if you haven't watch it so do catch the movie if you have time.