Never let him gain complete mastery of you!

This may sound like rule number one but it's not exactly the same. It comes into play at the stage whereby you two are already a couple. How to play hard to get when he already got you right?

So yes, he got you, but how much hold has he of you? If you ever let him think he has you totally under his control, DANGER!!! That is when you are no longer a challenge. You are a goal achieved, a trophy conquered and to be left at the back of the cabinet for dust to accumulate. Boys will always be boys! The venturous streak in them will urge themselves to find a newer and fresher challenge, another goal to conquer.

NEVER EVER let that happen! But how?

The dating game is like the dangling of carrot in front of the horse. When he thinks he got you and starts to slow down, draw the carrot further, make him work harder chase harder. When he's tired and about to give up, draw the carrot closer, whet his appetite. The important thing is, NEVER EVER let him have the carrot! Make him hunger for you.

Let's be more specific. So he's already taking things for granted, he doesn't reply to your SMSes. What to do?

STOP SMSing HIM! So he confronts you, and you bring up the matter to which he responds by injecting you with a dose of guilt, “Isn't love about giving without expecting returns?” Finding the dosage not potent enough, he seeks alliance from the all mighty one and whips out the all-time best-seller (Now we know why it's the best-seller), the holiest of holiest book (At which you shrivel in pain like Gollum in LOTR) from his 'GUILT' toolkit. With a halo over his head, sprouting arch-angel wings at his sides and blinding you with the holy light, he says,


"Love is patient,
Love is kind.
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres.
Love never fails!”


You are enlightened, you shrink in forgiveness and guilt. Oh holy one, forgive me. I was wrong,
I was wretched, you cry, you lose...

Unconditional LOVE?! Go to heaven! Go find JESUS!

Don't ever let him make you feel bad, he's simply playing the guilt game which is extremely effective on people who are idealistic or perfectionist.

Some humans are not patient,
some are not kind,
humans envy,
humans boast,
humans are definitely proud,
and some are even rude,
humans are all self-seeking, (seeking our other halves to complete ourselves)
and some are easily angered.
We definitely keep record of wrongs, (Go catch a couple in the act of quarreling)
and we don't always protect,
don't always trust,
always hope
but don't always persevere.
Love never fails???!!!

If love never fails, then how do you explain the phenomenon of divorces and breakups ?
Are they not experiencing true love? Hasn't your once intense love for someone dwindle with time or condition? What I'm saying is all these bullshit about love is too perfect, too idealistic! To err is human! To love is human! If err=human=love, then how can love be perfect?

These are laws not to live up to, but yardsticks to be measured upon! If love was an exam, then to score 100, you would have to match up to these yardsticks. When you don't score 100, you don't go blaming yourself. Getting an 80 is good enough. It is what makes you human! Remember, to err is to be human. To get 100 is to be perfect, and perfect=god. And if you want to get 100, that makes you want to be god, and that makes you SATURN! Because he too wants to be god! You don't want to be another Lucifer do you?!

Yes I know I'm preachy, but age is catching up with me. So my point finally is, know that you are human! Understand yourself, it's just human to expect something when you give. If you don't, congratulations, you're perfect! But for the most of us, we're not. So forgive yourself, give yourself a break! Don't make things so hard for yourself! Remember, we have to live with ourselves for life. So NO, it's not wrong for you to expect a return, it's just natural, it's how we are programmed. Don't ever ever let him use the guilt complex to manipulate you again. Females are infinitely more prone to it so BEWARE!

So you ask how to carry out this rule?

One way you could do so is to take your time to respond to his SMSes or you can even ignore him. Make him ponder, make him think about you. When he wants to meet you and ask if you are free on a particular day, say you have something on that day, make him fix another date to let him know he's slipping down the priority list. Let him know you have plenty of guy friends who are damn eligible bachelors too! (Lack of eligible bachelors? Befriend me!) Let him know that you hang around with them occasionally. Let him know that you have plenty of guys after you, but do this discreetly. Use your friends. Tell his “ally” (the one that he uses to fish out information about you when he was on your pursuit) to let him know you're HOT HOT property and lately, you're seeing more and more of a particular guy who's rich and handsome and even drives a PORCHE! Point of caution though. Make sure your friend harbors no secret liking for him else she could really be out to break it for you. Yes, shit happens! To sum it up, let him know that he might lose you.

If you don't believe all these, recall back to the days when he was chasing after you, when he hasn't GOT you? Notice the difference?